For Bethenny Frankel, watching the Oscar-nominated remake of A Star Is Born was a triggering experience.
On Wednesday’s Real Housewives of New York City, the Skinnygirl mogul, 48, recalled how the Bradley Cooper, Lady Gaga-led film reminded her of her ex fiancé Dennis Shields, who was found dead in his Trump Tower apartment on Aug. 10 from a suspected overdose.
“Last night I went to see A Star Is Born,” Frankel told costar Dorinda Medley, moments after arriving in Medley’s Berkshires home for the RHONY cast’s annual girls trip. “I cried, you don’t understand, at the end — I didn’t know it was about pill addiction.”
She especially struggled with the end of the movie, which (spoiler alert) saw Cooper’s character, Jackson Maine, die due to suicide after a relapse. To make matters worse, Frankel was in Boston with her new boyfriend, real estate developer and film producer Paul Bernon.
“The whole thing, it killed me,” Frankel said, choking up. “The guy was like, he loved her so much. He died for her. … I thought about all the texts I sent to him that week when I said ‘Look, I can’t do this anymore’ and he said, ‘Babe, it’s so rough, I miss you, I love you.’ I cried for like an hour last night! I was freaking out. I sat by myself in the movie theater for an hour!”
“Going to Boston and seeing A Star Is Born could be one of the most stupid things I’ve ever done in my life,” she added.
Medley, 54, understood and gave Frankel some advice.
“Remember what I said? You were never going to move on in a healthy relationship,” she reminded Frankel, a point her friend agreed with.
“This was his journey,” Medley added. “Period. Everything has a beginning, middle and end and it’s not for you to determine. You are now living your best life with your daughter. You can always call me. I have been through a similar thing, and I get it. It’s a lonely but growing thing.”
RELATED: Bethenny Frankel Says She Had to Figure Out Her ‘Place’ at Dennis Shields’ Funeral
Frankel has been open on this season of RHONY about the complicated emotions she’s felt since Shields’ death.
The two met nearly 20 years ago when he dated (and later married) Jill Schwartzberg, one of her high school friends. They did not stay in touch, but Frankel and Shields shared other mutual pals and began dating in 2016, several months after he separated from Schwartzberg (and three years after she filed for divorce from ex-husband Jason Hoppy).
He eventually proposed to Frankel last April with a mega-carat rock, which she proudly wore. And though he was close with her 8-year-old daughter, Bryn, Frankel kept their engagement private and never really gave Shields a clear yes, telling him that things were on “ice” until some “conditions” had been met and “changes” made.
On the Saturday before Shields’ death, Frankel finally confessed: “I have to exit this dynamic,” she revealed on a recent episode.
“He had such a powerful force in my life and my daughter loved it, that it was like this whole thing that was hard to extricate myself from,” Frankel said.
After Shields was found dead that next Friday, Frankel said began to feel culpable. “There was a lot in my mind about him dying right after that. I could not get off the ride. I feel guilty that the only way I got off the ride is that he’s dead,” she said, wiping back tears. “I hope I didn’t have anything to do with him dying.”
“Dennis told me if we didn’t work out, he was never going to be in a relationship again. He was going to be alone for the rest of his life,” she told audiences. “It was a tremendous pressure, and it kept me in. I don’t know what happened that night, and I will always have to live with that for whatever that means.”
As sad as the loss has been, Frankel has found love again.
Things between Frankel and Bernon are still going strong. The two made their relationship Instagram-official in December when Frankel shared two photos of the couple celebrating Christmas together in the Dominican Republic. They went on to ring in the New Year together in Mexico, joined by Bryn and his two kids, and have stayed close since.
He was even by her side late last month, when she appeared in court in her ongoing custody battle against Hoppy.
Meanwhile, the cause of Shields’ death remains a mystery. The New York City Medical Examiner’s Office announced in August that an autopsy was not performed on his body due to a “religious objection.” Thus, his cause of death has been ruled “undetermined.”
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Wednesdays (9 p.m. ET) on Bravo.
from PEOPLE.com http://bit.ly/2IbHmE2
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